Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Between a rock & a hard place.

I'm coming to the realization that there is very little we can do to change the world. It's hard for me to admit because I readily drink from full water glasses everyday of my life. But when I see the damage and destruction wreaked upon innocent beings, I begin to seethe in frustration.
I want to be the teacher that a student never forgets. The one who makes a positive impact in my students lives. It's taken me a while to realize that they too leave imprints in my life. Because I now see the desperate need for attention in some of their eyes- that need to be loved and cherished. To know that the only place they may encounter any sort of happiness is at school. It pains me to be aware of this ache inside a child. There is a need in me to fill that void for them but there is only so much I can do. A cheery greeting in the morning, words of encouragement, and (sometimes, undoubtedly) gentle reproach. However, at the end of the day they're off to a life of instability and neglect. One of those kids withdrew from my class on Friday. I've never felt such helplessness as I did that day. There was nothing I could do to stop her mother from taking her to yet another school. It's maddening to think that I may never know what is to be of Jenni's life- but the statistics point to the bottom of the bucket. I just hope that the people she will continue to encounter outside of her home outshine the darkness of her home life leading her to reach for bigger and brighter things.


camille said...

what a beautifully honest post.

i feel overwhelmed at our world sometimes, but do not think that you cannot make a difference.

after all, you are the only one who can make your difference.

allison. said...

i'm sure you are an incredible teacher!

kids can tell the difference between a teacher that really cares about them and those that the job has become just a job. my favorites (and the ones i still remember to this day) are the ones that really cared.

you'll be that teacher.